If you can read this… J’ACCUSE!
There is a sign posted on Inman Street in Cambridge which has bothered me for some time. Inman Street is a one-way thoroughfare, and this notice is bolted to a lamppost on the sidewalk facing away from oncoming traffic:
I have read this sign regularly, and am frankly offended by the suggestion it makes. Never once have I been biking the wrong way whilst reading it. I am usually on foot when I read this sign.
(Now, while I imagine the argument could be made that biking without a bicycle is the wrong way to bike, I prefer to think that I am merely biking in an unconventional manner, and not one which which the city should admonish me for. There are almost no reported incidents of biking accidents where neither party was on a bicycle at the time.)
Indeed, by posting this photographic record of the notice in question to the Internet, I have embroiled you, gentle reader. Just by reading the wording in that photo, you now stand accused by the City of Cambridge of biking the wrong way. How does that make you feel?
Worse still, a young, impressionable cyclist could be idly passing by, stop to look over their shoulder and catch a glimpse of this placard. Now the City has forever branded them as Wrong Way Bikers—To say nothing of those who are safety-conscious, have rear-view mirrors attached to their bikes, and whose mirror-reading skills are par-excellence. Such smart folks should surely be encouraged to cycle these dangerous streets.
So to save these spurious allegations from flying forth from such signage, and to ensure that no Cantabrigian shall ever feel falsely persecuted again, I propose the following:
A vast improvement, I’m sure you’ll agree.