The packed auditorium, which had been listening to Jobs in hushed reverence for several minutes, then erupted into applause, with hundreds of men and women suddenly jumping to their feet and shouting, “I can see it!” “Look, there it is!” and “God, it’s so beautiful!”
An obvious and hackneyed joke, but beautifully played out by the Onion News Network.
Love the On-Screen Displays that this new goddamned cocksucking piece of crap produces.
The US political “system” in a nutshell: “According to an eye-opening report released Tuesday, 60 million people whom you would never talk to, would never be in a position to talk to, and wouldn’t even be able to talk to if you tried will be voting for the other candidate in this year’s presidential election, and there is nothing you can do about it.”
“I think at this point people are just fucking with the record industry as a whole.”
Jimmy Carter op-ed piece from The Onion. “You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter’s rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again, because there’s no way I’m ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs and politely ask you if I might please be a presidential candidate in your precious fuckin’ election.”
“Fucking Yankees,” said Marshfield, MA resident and longtime Red Sox fan Lawrence Broberg, echoing the sentiments of thousands of men and woman across the nation. “Every year. Every goddamn year.”
“His Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion breaks three feet inside before cutting sharply toward the dugout, where falsehood and cowardice are forced to shrink before it!”
Alarmingly prescient story from January 2001. “Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there’s much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation’s hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it.”
I know, I know, it’s the most obvious joke possible given the band name. The execution (sic) still made me laugh.
Interesting interview with Stephen Colbert. It takes a second to realise that this is Colbert the actor talking, not Colbert the character, and it’s a fascinating insight into the “philosophy” that colours his satire.
This is an archive of groovmother.com, the old blog run by Rod Begbie — A Scottish geek who lives in San Francisco, CA.