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This is an old page from Rod Begbie's blog.

It only exists in an attempt to prevent linkrot. No new content will be added to this site, and links and images are liable to be broken. Check out begbie.com to find where I'm posting stuff these days.

Filed under 'theonion'

October 25, 2010

June 11, 2010

The Onion Sports Introduction To World Cup Soccer

Helpful guide for Americans confused by all this “football” talk.

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August 12, 2009

The ultimate Che Guevara t-shirt

From The Onion’s store.

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July 31, 2009

Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Of Customers | The Onion

The packed auditorium, which had been listening to Jobs in hushed reverence for several minutes, then erupted into applause, with hundreds of men and women suddenly jumping to their feet and shouting, “I can see it!” “Look, there it is!” and “God, it’s so beautiful!”

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May 27, 2009

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together' | The Onion

An obvious and hackneyed joke, but beautifully played out by the Onion News Network.

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April 9, 2009

Close Range Game

Ultra-violent game demo, from The Onion.

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February 10, 2009

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work | The Onion

Love the On-Screen Displays that this new goddamned cocksucking piece of crap produces.

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October 1, 2008

Report: 60 Million People You'd Never Talk To Voting For Other Guy | The Onion

The US political “system” in a nutshell: “According to an eye-opening report released Tuesday, 60 million people whom you would never talk to, would never be in a position to talk to, and wouldn’t even be able to talk to if you tried will be voting for the other candidate in this year’s presidential election, and there is nothing you can do about it.”

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August 15, 2008

Manny Ramirez Likes Red Sox's New Blue Uniforms | The Onion

“I’m also happy that they shortened the Green Monster, and painted it blue, because that wall was too tall before”

June 13, 2008

The Onion | CD Sales Down, LP Sales Up: What do you think?

“I think at this point people are just fucking with the record industry as a whole.”

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April 14, 2008

San Francisco Giants Band Together To Score Run | The Onion

I really shouldn’t laugh at this, since I now work across the street from AT&T Park, but… heh.

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March 19, 2008

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change | The Onion

Most gloriously offensive Onion headline in a while? Perhaps.

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March 9, 2008

This American Life: Tough Room

Excellent segment on This American Life about The Onion’s writing room. Skip about five minutes into the episode to find it.

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February 26, 2008

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election

The Onion News Network is getting better and better.

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January 13, 2008

I Got What America Needs Right Here | The Onion

Jimmy Carter op-ed piece from The Onion. “You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter’s rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again, because there’s no way I’m ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs and politely ask you if I might please be a presidential candidate in your precious fuckin’ election.”

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October 17, 2007

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters | The Onion

“For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.”

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August 17, 2007

Fucking Yankees, Reports Nation | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

“Fucking Yankees,” said Marshfield, MA resident and longtime Red Sox fan Lawrence Broberg, echoing the sentiments of thousands of men and woman across the nation. “Every year. Every goddamn year.”

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June 21, 2007

Apple's New iPhone | The Onion

“When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects”

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March 2, 2007

Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion' | The Onion

“His Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion breaks three feet inside before cutting sharply toward the dugout, where falsehood and cowardice are forced to shrink before it!”

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November 22, 2006

The Onion Store: Gotchabox

New from The Onion: Elaborate boxes for really crappy-sounding gifts (“Salt of the Month Club”, anyone?), which you hide your real present inside. Genius!

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November 10, 2006

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Alarmingly prescient story from January 2001. “Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there’s much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation’s hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it.”

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November 7, 2006

Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

“The American people have spoken, and they have unanimously declared: ‘We want elected officials to lead this nation.’”

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October 1, 2006

New Air-Travel Guidelines | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

“The ban was a necessary precaution. We have to be willing to make these kinds of sacrifices if we’re going to prevent scientifically impossible terrorist attacks.”

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July 26, 2006

Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence | The Onion

“Little did such founding fathers as George Washington, George Jefferson, and ***ERIC IS A FAG***…”

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May 3, 2006

Why Bother?: The A.V. Club's 2006 Summer Movie Preview

The Onion AV Club’s snark-filled guide to this summer’s movies.

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March 22, 2006

Franz Ferdinand Frontman Shot By Gavrilo Princip Bassist | The Onion

I know, I know, it’s the most obvious joke possible given the band name. The execution (sic) still made me laugh.

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March 17, 2006

The New Faces Of Saturday Night Live | The A.V. Club

Interview with the four SNL “Featured Players”.

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January 31, 2006

Stephen Colbert | The A.V. Club

Interesting interview with Stephen Colbert. It takes a second to realise that this is Colbert the actor talking, not Colbert the character, and it’s a fascinating insight into the “philosophy” that colours his satire.

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About This Site

This is an archive of groovmother.com, the old blog run by Rod Begbie — A Scottish geek who lives in San Francisco, CA.

I'm the co-founder of Sōsh, your handy-dandy guide for things to do in San Francisco this weekend.