Always check what’s on your clipboard before hitting send…
“Engineers using The Newspaper typically did so 30 to 60 minutes a day. Afterward, they went outside, formed relationships, and took in what life had to offer. Those using Wi-Fi-enabled e-readers tended to stay on the couch, scanning video sites for cats; eventually, downloading recipes for artichoke cheese dip they’ll never use.”
Anna livetweet’s her boyfriend’s reaction to seeing The Sound of Music for the first time. “This has been on for 52 minutes? Where are the Nazis?! YOU SAID THERE WERE NAZIS. This is all SINGING.”
“Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am.”
The fabulous and funny Anna Pickard has launched a new TV blog, and it’s topnotch. She’s kicking off by watching all of Lost for the first time — all five seasons — over the course of one week, so she can be ready for the final series next Tuesday. Marvelous.
Very satisfying. Facebook add a ridiculous feature, only visible to people who work at TechCrunch. A writer spots it, give FB a whole 24 minutes to respond to his questions, and in the TC way, rushes out a story so he can “scoop” competitors. Pwned!
The packed auditorium, which had been listening to Jobs in hushed reverence for several minutes, then erupted into applause, with hundreds of men and women suddenly jumping to their feet and shouting, “I can see it!” “Look, there it is!” and “God, it’s so beautiful!”
An obvious and hackneyed joke, but beautifully played out by the Onion News Network.
Every line delivered by Tracy Jordan in Season 3 of 30 Rock.
“Hi. I’m Tracy Jordan. My wife is throwing away some of our old towels. Do you want them cuz they’re out by the trash cans. Now that’s gots to be 30 seconds. Nine? OK, here comes the fun cooker.”
Love the On-Screen Displays that this new goddamned cocksucking piece of crap produces.
Good riddance to President Gore! “Of course, the biggest disappointment was Gore’s failure to handle Hurricane Katrina properly. Not only did the massive evacuation of New Orleans prove a costly and time-consuming overreaction, since the levees - fortified in 2003 - held up fine.”
WHY was I not aware of this sooner‽ A *THOROUGHLY* splendid satirical weekly podcast featuring John Oliver (off of The Daily Show) and the man who I described as his “erstwhile” UK comedy partner (until I discovered they were doing this podcast together), Andy Zaltzman. Absofuckinglutely fantastic.
Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper’s follow-up project to “Look Around You”, a religion and series of religious shows for Adult Swim. Say Hebbo to Tarvuism.
The US political “system” in a nutshell: “According to an eye-opening report released Tuesday, 60 million people whom you would never talk to, would never be in a position to talk to, and wouldn’t even be able to talk to if you tried will be voting for the other candidate in this year’s presidential election, and there is nothing you can do about it.”
Summary of Joss Whedon’s new online musical miniseries. I plopped down the $4 for a “season pass” in iTunes, and loved the first episode. Looking forward to episode 2 arriving in iTunes tonight.
“The way things are going, I half-expect to hear a quiet electric “peep” noise each time I flush the toilet; another bowel movement logged by Bumland Security.”
Attention Boston! The amassed hawtness that *is* ImprovBoston are holding a bachelor auction in May to raise money for their new theatre in Central Square. There’s some excellent videos already up to let you know just who you could be walking away with at the end of the night, whilst supporting a worthy non-profit.
Jimmy Carter op-ed piece from The Onion. “You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter’s rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again, because there’s no way I’m ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs and politely ask you if I might please be a presidential candidate in your precious fuckin’ election.”
by Michael Ian Black (The State, Stella, etc). “Hi! How are you? I hope this letter finds you well. I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I’m the guy who fingered you at sleepaway camp.”
“You know, there are infants who were born 18 days ago who don’t know what it’s like to see a Boston team win a championship in their lifetime”
Stewart Lee’s uploaded high-quality versions of “Fist of Fun” and TMWRNJ to Google Video. Some of it hasn’t aged well, but there’s some great stuff in there. Definitely shaped my sense-of-humour.
The problems with randomly creating strings… “It turns out that one day in the not-too-distant future, our random number generator gets filthy. On that day, one out of every 128 licenses generated will start with the F-bomb.”
“Oh man, I wonder how they’d take it if I unmuted this line for just a second to let them hear how loud I’m laughing at all of this…”
I need to get myself a t-shirt with a traffic cone on it, clearly.
Quality grumpiness from Charlie Brooker. “The pop-up a tent was a joy. It comes flat, disc-shaped. You throw it in the air and it unfurls into a canvas shell. Within seconds I was the proud owner of a home fit for a tramp.”
I saw a huge display of “alli” is CVS the other night, and most of these thoughts ran through my head. I remember when Xenical first came out, and I heard the phrase “fecal urgency” for the first time.
New 15-minute Spinal Tap film to help promote the “Live Earth” concerts in July. “6%”
“A Schroedinbug is a bug that manifests itself apparently only after the software is used in an unusual way or seemingly at the point in time that a programmer reading the source code notices that the program should never have worked in the first place, at which point the program stops working entirely until the mysteriously now non-functioning code is repaired.” I’ve coded a few of these in my time.
“A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table” “DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good. MOM: There was a big sex.”
If like me you’re not at SXSW, here’s what you’re missing. “Or hear a lively discussion about the rise of the “blogebrity,” moderated by a man named Kyle Bunch, the very person who coined the word “blogebrity” and then convinced the rest of us that blogebrity is actually a real thing rather than an excuse for Kyle to receive more links and get invited to blogger meet-ups.”
“An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day… of chronic emphysema from inhalation of the latex particles scratched off decades’ worth of lottery tickets.”
Woot slam the PS3 in their promotional copy, and still sell out in 4.5 minutes! “In fact, we love the Wii so much, we want to give a Wii to everybody on our payroll. To fund this Wii-for-the-People program, we’re selling this Sony PlayStation 3.”
How odd. When I saw this bleeped on SNL, I thought it was “Cock in a Box”, as did Joy. I’m not sure how I feel about “Dick in a Box”. Doesn’t seem as funny, somehow.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Wii.
As part of their development deal with NBC, the creators of the sitcom “Nobody’s Watching” got some cash to make online videos. This is their site, chock-full of amusing videos, as they wait to find out if they’re getting picked up for midseason.
The Kransky Sisters’ show “We Don’t Have Husbands” was the best thing I caught at the Fringe. Here’s a small taster of their wonderful character-driven comedy — a cover of the Sugababes song “Overload”.
Colbert defends Wikipedia as a great bastion of Truthiness — So long as a majority of people believe it, you can include it as “fact” in Wikipedia. Currently, about 20 elephant-related articles are locked down!
Faux-weed for decorative purposes. The next friend of mine who gets admitted to hospital is getting some “medical” “marijuana” to spruce up their ward!
It’s a great song, but this video just made it even better. I’ll always have an especially soft spot for it after someone on a mailing-list I was on made it clear he didn’t get the joke, and wondered how Pulp had pulled it off.
“We didn’t anticipate this level of heat this year — we never thought we’d get a twenty-first hot season in a row!” Extra marks to the authors for the Tribe of Toffs reference.
Breaking-the-third-wall-tastic sitcom pilot co-created by Bill Lawrence (creator of Scrubs). (Quick summary: Two sitcom-obsessed guys live on a sitcom set, and try to create their perfect sitcom) The WB turned it down last year, but since being posted to YouTube and gathering some acclaim, NBC are considering resurrecting it.
Failed pilot for an animated series based on Evan Dorkin’s “Eltingville Comic Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Role-Playing Club”. Most of my Star Wars trivia knowledge comes from reading those strips.
This is just splendid in ways unimaginable. A cabdriver who was in the BBC’s reception area was rushed onto air by mistaken producers, thinking he was an internet expert to talk about the Apple vs. Apple case. Full marks to the bloke for struggling through the interview despite being clearly horrified!
Stephen Colbert performs a superbly scathing speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner. President? Not laughing. “When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.”
Some excellent Public Service Announcements from the cast of The Office. I fast forwarded right past the one in Thursday’s episode, because I figured it was a genuine “The More You Know” segment. Luckily, Joy got me to skip back.
Superb AprilFool from Flickr — The “interesting” photo pages are only showing kittens. Extra points for respecting users’ timezones, so the hack only goes into effect for the 24 hours that is April 1st for you!
I know, I know, it’s the most obvious joke possible given the band name. The execution (sic) still made me laugh.
The *only* predictions list worth reading this year. “Citing a tip in a confidential e-mail dossier entitled â€œFwd: Lol guyz check this out!1â€³, Rupert Murdoch will acquire acclaimed Internet inventor Al Gore.”
Recaplet of last night’s Apprentice, the boardroom of which was one of the finest, most superbly bizarre and duck-behind-a-cushionly cringemaking bits of television ever.
Origin unknown, but it’s fucking hilarious. “Remember to say a little pray that you are fortunate enough to live somewhere that celebrates holidays by drinking Guinness and drinking Guinness while watching a Kenyan run.”
This is an archive of groovmother.com, the old blog run by Rod Begbie — A Scottish geek who lives in San Francisco, CA.